One of the hazards of my job is that everyday I need to speak to scores of people I have never met. These are guys who are out their in the middle of things, effectively regulating whatever is going on in the stock market. (For the uninitiated, my job is to cover the Indian stock market, essentially the prestigious Bombay Stock Exchange. Yes, thrilling.) I have to talk to people ranging from traders, dealers, research analysts, technical analysts and so on and so forth.

But the only guys worth mentioning are the dealers, really. They are the most charged and colourful people one can come across in an otherwise boring set up. Someone once asked me, "People buy and sell because that's what you do in a market. What the hell is there to write about that?" Of course, I had no answer to give, not one that was convincing anyway. And yet we write and sell the news successfully.

So when the essence is so bleak, one tries to make the best of it. I'm going to digress a little more before getting to the point. Stock markets, as a rule, follow no rules. There's no way in hell that anyone can say confidently what really is going on. But the Indian stock market is in a league of its own. Dig deep and you will find people who can put Bernie Madoff and Rajaratnam to shame. After all, these guys got caught. Indian market is one big orgy of synchronized buying and selling. It's fascinating to see real-time trading in some stocks, especially those of tiny companies. They rise 10%, turn flat and fall 20% all in a matter of five minutes. So, naturally there are days when the Sensex (which is what I mostly look at) is behaving like it's suffering from bipolar disorder. These days are the best to talk to people on the "floor." Half of them will say, "Humein sach mein nahi pata, aapne kuch suna kya?" And the rest say whatever comes to mind.

On one such erratic day, I called a dealer. I was really flustered because I had asked a zillion people and they were all stumped. And I have a deadline of 3.55 in the afternoon for filing my market report. Markets close at 3.30; it was already 3.20 and I still did not have my precious quote.

The conversation went something like this:

"So, what's happening in the market? Kya lagta hai aapko?"

"Indian market hai, madam. lt's like this only."

"Magar aaj toh kuch zyada hi upar neeche ho raha hai. There's no logic."

"Indian market hai, madam. Here no logic, onnnnnly magic."

I had my Eureka moment, right there. I drifted away and imagined how this quote would look in my market report on the Wall Street Journal. It's a pity we are not allowed to quote dealers. But his wisdom was amazing, he had totally nailed it. Because the word 'magic' sums up all the rigging that goes on in various stocks. Why the Sensex falls 2.5% in a day and still manages to close 1.5% higher is anybody's guess. Unfortunate as it is, everyday I need at least two names against the "guess."

After all, journalism is all about the eyeballs. The best quote, the best picture, the best footage, getting the quotes of the most popular guy, capturing his image....

Ironically, the only guys worth quoting never get quoted. And that's the magic of neo journalism.

One wonders what the matter with this country is. Really. It's almost like we are taking pleasure in being "victimized" by "terrorism." Red, green, blue...whatever the colour may be. After successfully letting go 26/11 of last year, we are now channelizing all that ardour to get rid of the Reds. Our dear government wants to exterminate these species as they are, allegedly, the greatest threat to our nation at the moment. Hmmm. What was that again? Are we the people, the educated, elitist, righteous people, honestly saying that tribals, who are being evicted from their land, are the greatest threat our country is facing right now?

A country that did not wage a war against its neighbour after a dastardly act like the Mumbai attacks has taken up cudgels to war against its own marginalized people. Now, how and why is this not surprising us? We, the educated class - the supposed creme de la creme of the society. Why are we not shocked by this absolute lack of regard that our government is showing? Because we think Maoists, tribals, people fighting for the tribals and people opposing the commercialization of these forest areas are all the same people, essentially. The naxals - that's the group they all fall under. If they are beheading police officers, hi-jacking trains and killing anybody with remote ties to the government, surely they are not saints? They are not the civilized people this civilized society deserves?

The problem with the class of people, who are largely believed to be "knowledgeable" as a result of their education, is that they are obscenely self-obsessed. It's a fact. I work like a dog, juggle different roles in my personal life and so the weekend that I get, I do not want to spend reading about or watching people of a remote village I have never visited, protest against modernization. After all, surely our country needs to be modernized? And the underprivileged given the opportunity to improve their situation? What could be bad about this? People are protesting that their land is being taken away because they are scared as working the land is the only thing they know how to do. So, the attitude, in general, seems to be that these unfortunate people do not realise that whatever is being done is being done for their good.

And that's where the whole problem begins. To understand what the problem is, we need to first differentiate among all people involved. The point of this piece is to talk about the tribal people who are NOT the naxals. I do not wish to go into the Maoist philosophy but when I say that scores of villages being affected by the government's push towards modernization will involve many, many "normal" people, like you and me, I do hope you will agree. So when the government decides to sell off a hill rich in minerals to corporations, who in the process of mining will, predictably damage the hill, which in turn will affect the plains below, which houses many villages, it is bound to upset a lot of people. So naturally, these villagers will need to be moved. And they do not want to move. The land is their only source of income and one cannot blame them for not relying on a government that has openly said it is incapable of relocating all these displaced people. So what are they supposed to do? One would think they'd migrate to nearby cities in the hope of finding work but since they are not particularly skilled (their only skill not being put to use) , it's fair to assume to a certain extent that they are not adding to the country's count of employed people. And I believe we are all smart enough to fathom what could become of these people. The point is, so are they. Just to digress a little, I think it's high time that we acknowledge that being educated does not equate to being knowledgeable or smart. And vice versa. Just because these people are not educated and probably have not even glimpsed the vast changes the broader society has undergone, dos not mean they are not smart enough to foresee their plight. And this is what they are protesting. Is that wrong, to fight against being forced to give up your life of dignity so people like us can gloat about how our country is fast developing? Yes?

I would genuinely like to believe that we have not turned a blind eye altogether on this issue and that we all have read, heard and seen what is going on in the 'naxal-dominant' areas. But I would also definitely like to point out that we are not so much as expressing concern about the issue. Does education bring a sense of selfishness and cynicism with it? Because all we are doing is thinking about how global our jobs allow us to be, how we can push into places that provide us the opportunities India is not providing and how we can earn more money - all the while cribbing about how the government is not doing anything about slums and why we see twice as many beggars at the traffic light than the previous day.

The idea is not to moralize but to say that we need not lose humanity, courtesy and our conscience while we are at our blasted rat race. If Sudan and Congo, of the blood diamond reputation, can ring a bell for us, why not Orissa and Lalgarh?

I want to say that I belong to a country that is as competitive and developed as any other global country but I am certain I do not want us to attain this fancy position at the cost of fumigating majority of the society because the very same country does not have the means to provide for citizens who make up for more than half of its population.

I have my doubts about modernization that's as expensive as this. Do you?

It's officially crazy weather in Mumbai. Actually, it's fitting. Crazy weather, crazy city. Not that I hate it but it sure is overwhelming. It's hot, humid and pouring -- all seasons at once. I am yet to come across a city that is dirtier, crowded or has worse traffic jams. It's insane. Truly insane. Let us start with dirty. Um, may be filthy is more appropriate. And filth comes from people who have no place to live. So they live in filth - theirs, their neighbour's, the community's, ours. I'm surprised a KFC protest over the conditions in which chickens are kept gets more eyeballs than this issue of Mumbai vomiting people. Anyway, guess think I took care of dirty and crowded there.

Coming to traffic - my pet peeve, mine as well as at least 20 percent of Mumbai's population - I think the rest are adventurous enough to swear by the local. The traffic scene here almost makes me miss Bangalore's deadlocks. But you see, what's different here is it doesn't matter how you commute, you find yourself stuck in traffic. It's the same you say, and scoff? Have you been stuck while walking? Have ya? Well, I have. In rain. I was stuck not because there was a flood. There would be some logic to that. No - I get stuck in one of Mumbai's regular rains, when there are so many vehicles on the road that there is not a foot of land available. You have to trust me when I say that I was trying to hop from one place to the other. When I couldn't I was stuck standing in a jam. All of me under a big green umbrella waiting for the Mercedes in front to move so the auto behind it moves, so the vegetable cart behind it moves, so I can finally find that elusive piece of land. When you eventually do, it's like finding an autorickshaw in Bangalore that agrees to charge you by meter only. Get the picture, don't ya?

That's not to say that the city has no positives. It offers luxuries like being able to walk on the road alone at 4 in the morning and hail a cab to wherever it is that you wish to go, it's got people from every place imaginable - a great way to know people (fine not that I know too many of them but it's a possibility). Places don't shut down at 12. So on and so forth, the regular stuff you hear from Mumbai loyals.

But find me a piece of land to walk on, then we'll talk about what a great city Bombay is.

Into the pit you permeate

Fill me with refracted light

A snickering cynic's path

Evened watered fertilized

To bear shrubs of hope

Shrubs that turn into weeds

Swallow precious spaces

Guffaw, mock

What I find is not the solitude I seek

Shovelling for my cove

In your shoulder -

A haloed moment of truth

Hovers, teases

And you flow into me

As sure as the river into the sea

I seem to have been wishing for novelty very earnestly for very long. So it's raining happenings. Leaving Bangalore, Changing job, Moving into a city vomitting people (and I HATE crowds, did you know?), Will be living by myself - in a city where i know 2 people.

Yes, better keep those sympathies coming.

Twittering your way….through a relationship

So we all know we are in the incredible tech age where anything is possible, where technology has redefined who and what we are or have become. And understandably,  its effect on our relationships has been significant too. I am someone who has always been technologically challenged. I thought SMS-ese was bad, now I’m assured of many more horrors that will arise for as long as I am alive. But I digress.

Steering back to relationships today. I usually don’t write about this topic because it’s terribly hard to come up with an intelligible view AND harder not to sound like one of those writers. You know who I’m talking about. But here goes my attempt.

Technology has become a fantastic excuse for most of us to get away with a lot of things. Breaking up is easier than ever, hiding one’s true emotions is a cakewalk and people who feel no emotions or unsure of what to feel on a particular occasion can always draw from the myriad emoticons floating around. As if communicating in a relationship isn’t hard as it is, we now have the tech demons to stave off.

If you are someone who is too lazy to pick up a phone and go through the cycle of identifying a number, dialling it, waiting for the person to pick up and, horror of horrors, talk to the person, your days of worry have long been gone, I presume. There’s SMS, e-mails, chat services, and for people who like being open about their lives, there’s Twitter. I’d imagine the thought of so many options would be as joyous as the birthday bash of a 5-year old.

By now, you would have figured that the above mentioned type is hardly the one I wish to talk about. What if I am someone who isn’t fond of the phone but picks it up anyway because it is the lesser of god knows how many evils? Too bad. I don’t belong to this century where things change, are done and undone, at the snap of a finger.

Yes people, I belong to the century where it was alright for two people to be in the same room and enjoy silence, read books, talk about anything under the sun, listen to music and just “hang out.” Don’t bother telling me how long ago it was that things were this way. But to me things make way more sense this way. Of course, a lot depends on whether one is looking for sense in a relationship.

Sense or not, I don't think it's too much to ask that communication be intelligible. That "Ok"s come by instead of "K"s and you actually get a chance to look at the person you are talking to rather than send the odd SMS.

But I have also come to believe that I’m a staunch fatalist. Only things that are destined to be doomed attract me. Sigh…. some vintage romance would be just the deal at the onset of the rains. Alright stop smirking. Everyone’s allowed some time in la-la land once in a while.

Today something happened that reinforced my faith in humanity and also took me down memory lane. I got a ticket for riding my bike against the traffic on a one-way street. Yes, that hasn’t happened in at least 4 years now.

But the fact that the cops are doing their job is not what kindled faith in a cynic like me. It was a very small event. The lane on which I broke the traffic rule is right in front of a popular college in Bangalore. For the past couple of years I have cut down riding my bike simply because I seemed to have lost focus. Either I’d forget that I was on a bike or space out and forget where I was going. But old age notwithstanding, of late I have been using my poor, abused bike to go to places close enough to my house.

Anyway, I was returning home this morning, not really focussing on the road, when I got lazy and barged into the one-way street. A bunch of college girls were waving their hands frantically in front of my face and yelling “Cops!” “Turn around!”  Sure I figured what was going on, but I was so surprised by their enthusiasm that an angry, huffing old traffic policeman trying to stall my escape didn’t really bother me. May be the girls were having fun the expense of those cops, may be it was really an act of kindness but their gesture changed something. Either way, it taught me to loosen up a bit.

Anyway, I proceeded to face the policeman who was chiding those girls for acting smart. He already had about 5 more guys around him who had fallen into his grasp. He asked me to pay him 300 bucks. Luckily, I had some cash on me else I’m generally a person who avoids carrying money and just swipes her card. So I hand him a 500-rupee note. He looks at me and asks me in Kannada, “Are you really going to pay me 300 bucks?” I say that is precisely my intention because if I ask him to lower the amount he’d say it’s not possible then I’d haggle some more and both of us would waste our time. I said all this to him as a matter of fact. Just as I was wondering if that might trigger his temper, he smiled, asked me to pay 100 bucks and wrote me a receipt, even as another guy was pleading with him to reduce his fine because he was a student.

So, today was double-whammy for me. It’s possible that I have become so cynical that these random events have the ability to surprise me enough to make me wonder if there is some goodness out there. May be there are a few good men. Then again, the rest…..

Where's that darn muse?

Lull Lull Lull. Almost nothing is exciting. I'm not even enthusiastic enough to write about Getaway-2, which was Kabini, by the way. May be it's because I didn't see anything that I wished to see. AGAIN. Meanwhile, half-formed sentences and words tending towards garble continue to torment. Choking on my own creative juices... Help!

I thought I had learnt this by now. Clearly not.

Stupidity is not only tolerated but also celebrated and felicitated.

Forgive me if I don't join the party.

Sexism - the has been of a nation that doesn't want to know it

What is with the obsession of portraying men as having the liberty to stray? This question disturbs me at a lot of levels but I'll just stick to the simplest one. The advertisements in this country have touched the nadir of crassness. How many ads do we have floating around that say a man flirting with many women at the same time is pretty cool and smart? And how most women are credulous enough to buy anything that the pretty cool and smart guy says? May be it is true, but still… or may be I’m being cynical. Either way, that's not the point.

Alright, agreed that this is not gender specific. There are prototypes of both species. But in India, at least, the bias is towards men. It's OK to get away with a lot of things if you are man; a woman in the same position is definitely not as lucky. The point is not to discuss morality. The issue is the subtle, and in some cases not-so-subtle, exhibition of sexism in our society.

In the urban world, sexism is a fine example of the elephant in the room. No one wants to acknowledge it. Men don’t want to acknowledge that they withheld a female employee’s promotion/career opportunity because she got married or is pregnant. Women don’t acknowledge that they got a hike because they belonged to the prettier lot (versus not-so-pretty women), or that they dint get yelled at for a goof up because they are women.

In the same urban world, most people refuse to accept the perception that a philandering man is actually referred to as a guy who many women want to be with. So poor thing, how can he help that he’s so charming? But a philandering woman is actually someone who gets around a lot and is easy to get into the sack with. So if you want an easy lay, you know where to go. The same is true for the man, but is never said of him. And it is never acknowledged that a guy who is good with his job is good but a woman needs to be exceptional at her job to be “good.”

And that’s the problem. The fact that men and women (I still say men, mostly) are choosy in deciding when they want to be liberal and when they want to shrug off their selfishness and sexist beliefs as “just the way things are” is quite shocking.

I mean, look at the Hindi movies. Sexism has been a staple for years now and is clearly a non-issue. To most people who watched a stupid movie called “Rab Ne Banadi Jodi,” it didn’t even occur that the movie, apart from insulting our intelligence, is being supremely sexist in portraying that an educated woman, albeit a small-town resident, lacks the basic sense to identify her husband without a moustache. Or even that, the very same husband does not so much as bother apologizing when his wife discovers that he was actually conning her by acting like he was somebody else just to test if she would stray or not. I mean, really?

So by the same token, do we project in our movies that a woman trying to “con” her husband by giving her alter ego shorter hair or a different style of dressing gets away with it? That he buys the fact that she is this whole new and different person altogether?

I don’t think so. And this movie is just one example I can think of from the top of my head. Sexism is so deep rooted in our heads, society and culture that people who indulge in it or people victimised by it don’t even realise most of the time. It’s just acceptable because it has been happening for so long. And because we have forgotten to question why some of us are entitled to liberties that many others are not. Why pub-going women are beaten up and not men or why it’s OK if men work long hours and take their job seriously while for women it’s just “attaching too much importance to your work” when “It’s just a job.” It all comes down to the same thing. An archaic mindset that is supposedly our culture. And the fact that it is so darn convenient to go on continuing this culture.

And India is going to be a super power and an epitome of modernity in the next 20 years, when the country is not even willing to move beyond mistakes that were made generations ago. What a joke.

So, the day to proclaim our love for our fellow beings is round the corner. But welcome to India, the recently converted fascist country, where if you are caught on a date, you have to marry the person immediately! Whoever said India was one of the largest democracies?

India is now ruled by men clad in "traditional" attires, with a dash of saffron and vermilion. Men who uphold Indian "culture," which is so pure, sanctimonious and immaculate that it will make the rest of the world cringe with shame. Don't be misguided by reports that India ranks among one of the most corrupt countries in the world. No sir. I belong to a country where smoking, drinking, making merry and communicating with species of the other gender is unheard of. India is so busy playing holier-than-thou that we citizens hardly have time to devote to petty issues like population explosion, corruption, terrorism and potential wars.

Our rulers here are blessed with foresight and based on this virtue our guardians are defining womanhood. The new-age definition. Women are bred for domestic purposes, whose primary goal in life is to... yes! You guessed that one, make chapattis! Now how can this be disputed? Of course, women cannot be naive enough to think they were born for a greater cause. I’d be shocked if they happen to think so. It is our moral duty to serve these valorous men who have taken it upon themselves to “preserve” such a glorious culture.

A culture, where, according to our epics and myths – which are the source of most beliefs and virtues in this country – women wore clothes that were more enticing than your average low-waist jeans and a tee, indulged in alcohol, had children outside marriage or from "divine" men who were not their husbands, and in general, had a penchant for adventure.

Alright, I have exhausted my sarcasm. But really, what the hell is going in this country? I don’t give a damn about Valentines’ day but when you tell me that if I’m caught on that day with a guy by my side, then I’ll be married off to him immediately by men with turmeric who have nothing better to do in life, that’s incentive enough to take part in the celebration.

Is it me or have people forgotten that we are in 2009 and not the era of temptresses, god-women or damsels in distress?

I’m in a country, and specifically in a state, where the government is incapable of protecting me if I get beaten up by a bunch of goons. After all, I’m not in the kitchen wearing an apron. And who is fighting for my rights? A loud-mouth called Renuka Chowdhury, whose brilliant idea is to beat up those who beat us. Yes. Fabulous. Let’s just slip back into the Stone Age, shall we?

If I have to take the law into my hands because I’m being unfairly beaten up for visiting a pub and having a drink, then why the hell do we need a government, law and order and a civil society?

What are the authorities doing? If you can’t save me from thugs within this country, how can I trust that my government has the ability to protect me from thugs who don’t belong here? If these guys, our supposed guardians, have so much pent-up aggression, I suggest they join the armed forces or anti-terrorist squads. If they want to protect me, I’d much rather they did that.

And all around I hear people talking about it; almost everyone’s making noise about the issue. Except the government. The placidity is appalling. We are so obviously slipping into a state of lawlessness; it’s absolutely disconcerting. And if our elected government does not do anything now, then the whole institution, I think, will become pointless and farcical – if it hasn’t already become so, that is. I see no purpose for it to exist. If we can let this pass, we can let anything pass.

Meanwhile, I’m pissing in my pants (exactly what the Ram Sene workers desire from “bad” girls like me) thinking about how I could have dared to write this post and articulate my thoughts, and worse, doing so wearing a pair of denims and a tee-shirt! I better rush!! I think I burnt the chapattis!!!

I did the unthinkable today. I amazed myself with my own stupidity by managing to get myself lost in my office – a place I have worked at for the last two and a half years. It’s true. And all this, because I had the brainwave of taking the staircase and getting some exercise. Isn’t that a just and mature thought? Now you know why I got punished for it.

My office is located on the top two floors of the building I work in, with mine being on the fifth floor. Since I get transport, the cab drops me off in the basement. So I get this fantastic idea of using the stairs just as the cab halts and jauntily walk towards the fire exit instead of the elevator.

See, what you have to understand is I don’t care much about why staircases are marked the way they are. You wouldn’t expect them to carry signs saying, “People who wish to walk, hop on!” Of course they’d carry a fire exit sign.

So the climb begins. There I am. Self-satisfied, listening to my iPod, climbing two stairs at a time and determined to well…beat it. I finally reach the fifth floor but it does not look like the staircase I take when I want to go the fourth floor. A little stumped by the new challenge, I look at a random co-worker through the glass of the door in front of me. She stares and looks like she wants to alert the security personnel; I make it worse for her by frantically trying to open the door. But, as you may have foreseen that misery needs to befall upon me, the damn door does not open.

After carefully weighing my options and considering that the lady with rattled nerves may very well have alerted other people about a possible intruder, I walk down all the bloody way. I get off at the first floor thinking, that’s it, enough of this nonsense. So I enter the first floor basement and I see a stand alone elevator and am wondering what that is because I’ve never seen it before.

I walk towards it and wait for it to come and get me. Come elevator, and the guys with stalls in my office canteen are staring at my face and telling me, not this one woman. Go to your elevator. By now, you agree, that I’ve sufficient ammunition to blow up the building. Anyway, fury notwithstanding, I walk back to the stairs and reach the ground floor, get off the darned fire exit and take an elevator all the way back to my office.

Yes, a fabulous beginning to my day. But I shall not be deterred. I shall conquer it. In the true Christite spirit, I shall march on. Hmpf!

getaway - 1

Jungles and beaches as holiday destinations never disappoint. There is something so absolutely relaxing about them. So, yes have emerged awfully relaxed after the break. Nagarhole was a sanctuary I had not visited until now. The drive from Bangalore is about 5 hours and the road is fantastic.

Nagarhole is strategically placed, in that it is bordering on Coorg and leads into Kerala. Unfortunately, about 4 months ago a ban was placed in the Nagarhole wildlife sanctuary on private vehicles. So if you are looking to spot animals then you have to take one of those noisy, government-run buses. Since it is really a worthless option, we had to cross over into Kerala and enter from the other side of the forest, which was the Wayanad wildlife sanctuary. The forest, I believe, is much drier than say Bandipur or B.R. hills. But it sort of grows on you, I guess.

We weren't very lucky with the 'sightings' . We did see elephants, even a teeny tiny one, a huge herd of bison crossing the road, few breeds of deer and some interesting birds. But the much longed for species of the Cat family remained elusive.

If you are not too crazy about taking frequent safaris, then try visiting Iruppu falls (in Coorg). It's a pretty waterfall, though I have seen it ages ago, and offers water sports like still and white water rafting. There's also a Tibetian monastery close to Nagarhole.

But if you are lazy, like I was, just stay put at your resort. You won't regret it at all. There are quite a few resorts in and around Nagarhole which are priced fairly decently. But, Kabini looks like a better option because as far as I know the ban does not extend to that side and the Jungle Lodges resort there is beautiful and very pricey, of course.

So, may be it is Kabini the next time. In summer. And may be it will also be the cats I spotted that I'll be talking about the next time around.

Getaway - 1 (preview)

The year's kicked off alright... but 2 weeks into my job and I can't wait to get away. I am certain there are a few heads out there, locked in my situation, who are nodding in agreement. So, instead of writing about drudgery, I shall choose to write about the teeny tiny holiday. Well all I can say right now is that I'm taking one. Heading out to the woods and hoping to spot some interesting wildlife. And of course, betting that I will find enough meat for a post. So, be back soon with an update - hopefully.

P.S. : the getaways shall henceforth be numbered. The target is one a month (which means at least 1 in three months. sigh....)