So, the day to proclaim our love for our fellow beings is round the corner. But welcome to India, the recently converted fascist country, where if you are caught on a date, you have to marry the person immediately! Whoever said India was one of the largest democracies?

India is now ruled by men clad in "traditional" attires, with a dash of saffron and vermilion. Men who uphold Indian "culture," which is so pure, sanctimonious and immaculate that it will make the rest of the world cringe with shame. Don't be misguided by reports that India ranks among one of the most corrupt countries in the world. No sir. I belong to a country where smoking, drinking, making merry and communicating with species of the other gender is unheard of. India is so busy playing holier-than-thou that we citizens hardly have time to devote to petty issues like population explosion, corruption, terrorism and potential wars.

Our rulers here are blessed with foresight and based on this virtue our guardians are defining womanhood. The new-age definition. Women are bred for domestic purposes, whose primary goal in life is to... yes! You guessed that one, make chapattis! Now how can this be disputed? Of course, women cannot be naive enough to think they were born for a greater cause. I’d be shocked if they happen to think so. It is our moral duty to serve these valorous men who have taken it upon themselves to “preserve” such a glorious culture.

A culture, where, according to our epics and myths – which are the source of most beliefs and virtues in this country – women wore clothes that were more enticing than your average low-waist jeans and a tee, indulged in alcohol, had children outside marriage or from "divine" men who were not their husbands, and in general, had a penchant for adventure.

Alright, I have exhausted my sarcasm. But really, what the hell is going in this country? I don’t give a damn about Valentines’ day but when you tell me that if I’m caught on that day with a guy by my side, then I’ll be married off to him immediately by men with turmeric who have nothing better to do in life, that’s incentive enough to take part in the celebration.

Is it me or have people forgotten that we are in 2009 and not the era of temptresses, god-women or damsels in distress?

I’m in a country, and specifically in a state, where the government is incapable of protecting me if I get beaten up by a bunch of goons. After all, I’m not in the kitchen wearing an apron. And who is fighting for my rights? A loud-mouth called Renuka Chowdhury, whose brilliant idea is to beat up those who beat us. Yes. Fabulous. Let’s just slip back into the Stone Age, shall we?

If I have to take the law into my hands because I’m being unfairly beaten up for visiting a pub and having a drink, then why the hell do we need a government, law and order and a civil society?

What are the authorities doing? If you can’t save me from thugs within this country, how can I trust that my government has the ability to protect me from thugs who don’t belong here? If these guys, our supposed guardians, have so much pent-up aggression, I suggest they join the armed forces or anti-terrorist squads. If they want to protect me, I’d much rather they did that.

And all around I hear people talking about it; almost everyone’s making noise about the issue. Except the government. The placidity is appalling. We are so obviously slipping into a state of lawlessness; it’s absolutely disconcerting. And if our elected government does not do anything now, then the whole institution, I think, will become pointless and farcical – if it hasn’t already become so, that is. I see no purpose for it to exist. If we can let this pass, we can let anything pass.

Meanwhile, I’m pissing in my pants (exactly what the Ram Sene workers desire from “bad” girls like me) thinking about how I could have dared to write this post and articulate my thoughts, and worse, doing so wearing a pair of denims and a tee-shirt! I better rush!! I think I burnt the chapattis!!!