One of the hazards of my job is that everyday I need to speak to scores of people I have never met. These are guys who are out their in the middle of things, effectively regulating whatever is going on in the stock market. (For the uninitiated, my job is to cover the Indian stock market, essentially the prestigious Bombay Stock Exchange. Yes, thrilling.) I have to talk to people ranging from traders, dealers, research analysts, technical analysts and so on and so forth.

But the only guys worth mentioning are the dealers, really. They are the most charged and colourful people one can come across in an otherwise boring set up. Someone once asked me, "People buy and sell because that's what you do in a market. What the hell is there to write about that?" Of course, I had no answer to give, not one that was convincing anyway. And yet we write and sell the news successfully.

So when the essence is so bleak, one tries to make the best of it. I'm going to digress a little more before getting to the point. Stock markets, as a rule, follow no rules. There's no way in hell that anyone can say confidently what really is going on. But the Indian stock market is in a league of its own. Dig deep and you will find people who can put Bernie Madoff and Rajaratnam to shame. After all, these guys got caught. Indian market is one big orgy of synchronized buying and selling. It's fascinating to see real-time trading in some stocks, especially those of tiny companies. They rise 10%, turn flat and fall 20% all in a matter of five minutes. So, naturally there are days when the Sensex (which is what I mostly look at) is behaving like it's suffering from bipolar disorder. These days are the best to talk to people on the "floor." Half of them will say, "Humein sach mein nahi pata, aapne kuch suna kya?" And the rest say whatever comes to mind.

On one such erratic day, I called a dealer. I was really flustered because I had asked a zillion people and they were all stumped. And I have a deadline of 3.55 in the afternoon for filing my market report. Markets close at 3.30; it was already 3.20 and I still did not have my precious quote.

The conversation went something like this:

"So, what's happening in the market? Kya lagta hai aapko?"

"Indian market hai, madam. lt's like this only."

"Magar aaj toh kuch zyada hi upar neeche ho raha hai. There's no logic."

"Indian market hai, madam. Here no logic, onnnnnly magic."

I had my Eureka moment, right there. I drifted away and imagined how this quote would look in my market report on the Wall Street Journal. It's a pity we are not allowed to quote dealers. But his wisdom was amazing, he had totally nailed it. Because the word 'magic' sums up all the rigging that goes on in various stocks. Why the Sensex falls 2.5% in a day and still manages to close 1.5% higher is anybody's guess. Unfortunate as it is, everyday I need at least two names against the "guess."

After all, journalism is all about the eyeballs. The best quote, the best picture, the best footage, getting the quotes of the most popular guy, capturing his image....

Ironically, the only guys worth quoting never get quoted. And that's the magic of neo journalism.

One wonders what the matter with this country is. Really. It's almost like we are taking pleasure in being "victimized" by "terrorism." Red, green, blue...whatever the colour may be. After successfully letting go 26/11 of last year, we are now channelizing all that ardour to get rid of the Reds. Our dear government wants to exterminate these species as they are, allegedly, the greatest threat to our nation at the moment. Hmmm. What was that again? Are we the people, the educated, elitist, righteous people, honestly saying that tribals, who are being evicted from their land, are the greatest threat our country is facing right now?

A country that did not wage a war against its neighbour after a dastardly act like the Mumbai attacks has taken up cudgels to war against its own marginalized people. Now, how and why is this not surprising us? We, the educated class - the supposed creme de la creme of the society. Why are we not shocked by this absolute lack of regard that our government is showing? Because we think Maoists, tribals, people fighting for the tribals and people opposing the commercialization of these forest areas are all the same people, essentially. The naxals - that's the group they all fall under. If they are beheading police officers, hi-jacking trains and killing anybody with remote ties to the government, surely they are not saints? They are not the civilized people this civilized society deserves?

The problem with the class of people, who are largely believed to be "knowledgeable" as a result of their education, is that they are obscenely self-obsessed. It's a fact. I work like a dog, juggle different roles in my personal life and so the weekend that I get, I do not want to spend reading about or watching people of a remote village I have never visited, protest against modernization. After all, surely our country needs to be modernized? And the underprivileged given the opportunity to improve their situation? What could be bad about this? People are protesting that their land is being taken away because they are scared as working the land is the only thing they know how to do. So, the attitude, in general, seems to be that these unfortunate people do not realise that whatever is being done is being done for their good.

And that's where the whole problem begins. To understand what the problem is, we need to first differentiate among all people involved. The point of this piece is to talk about the tribal people who are NOT the naxals. I do not wish to go into the Maoist philosophy but when I say that scores of villages being affected by the government's push towards modernization will involve many, many "normal" people, like you and me, I do hope you will agree. So when the government decides to sell off a hill rich in minerals to corporations, who in the process of mining will, predictably damage the hill, which in turn will affect the plains below, which houses many villages, it is bound to upset a lot of people. So naturally, these villagers will need to be moved. And they do not want to move. The land is their only source of income and one cannot blame them for not relying on a government that has openly said it is incapable of relocating all these displaced people. So what are they supposed to do? One would think they'd migrate to nearby cities in the hope of finding work but since they are not particularly skilled (their only skill not being put to use) , it's fair to assume to a certain extent that they are not adding to the country's count of employed people. And I believe we are all smart enough to fathom what could become of these people. The point is, so are they. Just to digress a little, I think it's high time that we acknowledge that being educated does not equate to being knowledgeable or smart. And vice versa. Just because these people are not educated and probably have not even glimpsed the vast changes the broader society has undergone, dos not mean they are not smart enough to foresee their plight. And this is what they are protesting. Is that wrong, to fight against being forced to give up your life of dignity so people like us can gloat about how our country is fast developing? Yes?

I would genuinely like to believe that we have not turned a blind eye altogether on this issue and that we all have read, heard and seen what is going on in the 'naxal-dominant' areas. But I would also definitely like to point out that we are not so much as expressing concern about the issue. Does education bring a sense of selfishness and cynicism with it? Because all we are doing is thinking about how global our jobs allow us to be, how we can push into places that provide us the opportunities India is not providing and how we can earn more money - all the while cribbing about how the government is not doing anything about slums and why we see twice as many beggars at the traffic light than the previous day.

The idea is not to moralize but to say that we need not lose humanity, courtesy and our conscience while we are at our blasted rat race. If Sudan and Congo, of the blood diamond reputation, can ring a bell for us, why not Orissa and Lalgarh?

I want to say that I belong to a country that is as competitive and developed as any other global country but I am certain I do not want us to attain this fancy position at the cost of fumigating majority of the society because the very same country does not have the means to provide for citizens who make up for more than half of its population.

I have my doubts about modernization that's as expensive as this. Do you?

It's officially crazy weather in Mumbai. Actually, it's fitting. Crazy weather, crazy city. Not that I hate it but it sure is overwhelming. It's hot, humid and pouring -- all seasons at once. I am yet to come across a city that is dirtier, crowded or has worse traffic jams. It's insane. Truly insane. Let us start with dirty. Um, may be filthy is more appropriate. And filth comes from people who have no place to live. So they live in filth - theirs, their neighbour's, the community's, ours. I'm surprised a KFC protest over the conditions in which chickens are kept gets more eyeballs than this issue of Mumbai vomiting people. Anyway, guess think I took care of dirty and crowded there.

Coming to traffic - my pet peeve, mine as well as at least 20 percent of Mumbai's population - I think the rest are adventurous enough to swear by the local. The traffic scene here almost makes me miss Bangalore's deadlocks. But you see, what's different here is it doesn't matter how you commute, you find yourself stuck in traffic. It's the same you say, and scoff? Have you been stuck while walking? Have ya? Well, I have. In rain. I was stuck not because there was a flood. There would be some logic to that. No - I get stuck in one of Mumbai's regular rains, when there are so many vehicles on the road that there is not a foot of land available. You have to trust me when I say that I was trying to hop from one place to the other. When I couldn't I was stuck standing in a jam. All of me under a big green umbrella waiting for the Mercedes in front to move so the auto behind it moves, so the vegetable cart behind it moves, so I can finally find that elusive piece of land. When you eventually do, it's like finding an autorickshaw in Bangalore that agrees to charge you by meter only. Get the picture, don't ya?

That's not to say that the city has no positives. It offers luxuries like being able to walk on the road alone at 4 in the morning and hail a cab to wherever it is that you wish to go, it's got people from every place imaginable - a great way to know people (fine not that I know too many of them but it's a possibility). Places don't shut down at 12. So on and so forth, the regular stuff you hear from Mumbai loyals.

But find me a piece of land to walk on, then we'll talk about what a great city Bombay is.

Into the pit you permeate

Fill me with refracted light

A snickering cynic's path

Evened watered fertilized

To bear shrubs of hope

Shrubs that turn into weeds

Swallow precious spaces

Guffaw, mock

What I find is not the solitude I seek

Shovelling for my cove

In your shoulder -

A haloed moment of truth

Hovers, teases

And you flow into me

As sure as the river into the sea

I seem to have been wishing for novelty very earnestly for very long. So it's raining happenings. Leaving Bangalore, Changing job, Moving into a city vomitting people (and I HATE crowds, did you know?), Will be living by myself - in a city where i know 2 people.

Yes, better keep those sympathies coming.

Twittering your way….through a relationship

So we all know we are in the incredible tech age where anything is possible, where technology has redefined who and what we are or have become. And understandably,  its effect on our relationships has been significant too. I am someone who has always been technologically challenged. I thought SMS-ese was bad, now I’m assured of many more horrors that will arise for as long as I am alive. But I digress.

Steering back to relationships today. I usually don’t write about this topic because it’s terribly hard to come up with an intelligible view AND harder not to sound like one of those writers. You know who I’m talking about. But here goes my attempt.

Technology has become a fantastic excuse for most of us to get away with a lot of things. Breaking up is easier than ever, hiding one’s true emotions is a cakewalk and people who feel no emotions or unsure of what to feel on a particular occasion can always draw from the myriad emoticons floating around. As if communicating in a relationship isn’t hard as it is, we now have the tech demons to stave off.

If you are someone who is too lazy to pick up a phone and go through the cycle of identifying a number, dialling it, waiting for the person to pick up and, horror of horrors, talk to the person, your days of worry have long been gone, I presume. There’s SMS, e-mails, chat services, and for people who like being open about their lives, there’s Twitter. I’d imagine the thought of so many options would be as joyous as the birthday bash of a 5-year old.

By now, you would have figured that the above mentioned type is hardly the one I wish to talk about. What if I am someone who isn’t fond of the phone but picks it up anyway because it is the lesser of god knows how many evils? Too bad. I don’t belong to this century where things change, are done and undone, at the snap of a finger.

Yes people, I belong to the century where it was alright for two people to be in the same room and enjoy silence, read books, talk about anything under the sun, listen to music and just “hang out.” Don’t bother telling me how long ago it was that things were this way. But to me things make way more sense this way. Of course, a lot depends on whether one is looking for sense in a relationship.

Sense or not, I don't think it's too much to ask that communication be intelligible. That "Ok"s come by instead of "K"s and you actually get a chance to look at the person you are talking to rather than send the odd SMS.

But I have also come to believe that I’m a staunch fatalist. Only things that are destined to be doomed attract me. Sigh…. some vintage romance would be just the deal at the onset of the rains. Alright stop smirking. Everyone’s allowed some time in la-la land once in a while.

Today something happened that reinforced my faith in humanity and also took me down memory lane. I got a ticket for riding my bike against the traffic on a one-way street. Yes, that hasn’t happened in at least 4 years now.

But the fact that the cops are doing their job is not what kindled faith in a cynic like me. It was a very small event. The lane on which I broke the traffic rule is right in front of a popular college in Bangalore. For the past couple of years I have cut down riding my bike simply because I seemed to have lost focus. Either I’d forget that I was on a bike or space out and forget where I was going. But old age notwithstanding, of late I have been using my poor, abused bike to go to places close enough to my house.

Anyway, I was returning home this morning, not really focussing on the road, when I got lazy and barged into the one-way street. A bunch of college girls were waving their hands frantically in front of my face and yelling “Cops!” “Turn around!”  Sure I figured what was going on, but I was so surprised by their enthusiasm that an angry, huffing old traffic policeman trying to stall my escape didn’t really bother me. May be the girls were having fun the expense of those cops, may be it was really an act of kindness but their gesture changed something. Either way, it taught me to loosen up a bit.

Anyway, I proceeded to face the policeman who was chiding those girls for acting smart. He already had about 5 more guys around him who had fallen into his grasp. He asked me to pay him 300 bucks. Luckily, I had some cash on me else I’m generally a person who avoids carrying money and just swipes her card. So I hand him a 500-rupee note. He looks at me and asks me in Kannada, “Are you really going to pay me 300 bucks?” I say that is precisely my intention because if I ask him to lower the amount he’d say it’s not possible then I’d haggle some more and both of us would waste our time. I said all this to him as a matter of fact. Just as I was wondering if that might trigger his temper, he smiled, asked me to pay 100 bucks and wrote me a receipt, even as another guy was pleading with him to reduce his fine because he was a student.

So, today was double-whammy for me. It’s possible that I have become so cynical that these random events have the ability to surprise me enough to make me wonder if there is some goodness out there. May be there are a few good men. Then again, the rest…..