It's officially crazy weather in Mumbai. Actually, it's fitting. Crazy weather, crazy city. Not that I hate it but it sure is overwhelming. It's hot, humid and pouring -- all seasons at once. I am yet to come across a city that is dirtier, crowded or has worse traffic jams. It's insane. Truly insane. Let us start with dirty. Um, may be filthy is more appropriate. And filth comes from people who have no place to live. So they live in filth - theirs, their neighbour's, the community's, ours. I'm surprised a KFC protest over the conditions in which chickens are kept gets more eyeballs than this issue of Mumbai vomiting people. Anyway, guess think I took care of dirty and crowded there.

Coming to traffic - my pet peeve, mine as well as at least 20 percent of Mumbai's population - I think the rest are adventurous enough to swear by the local. The traffic scene here almost makes me miss Bangalore's deadlocks. But you see, what's different here is it doesn't matter how you commute, you find yourself stuck in traffic. It's the same you say, and scoff? Have you been stuck while walking? Have ya? Well, I have. In rain. I was stuck not because there was a flood. There would be some logic to that. No - I get stuck in one of Mumbai's regular rains, when there are so many vehicles on the road that there is not a foot of land available. You have to trust me when I say that I was trying to hop from one place to the other. When I couldn't I was stuck standing in a jam. All of me under a big green umbrella waiting for the Mercedes in front to move so the auto behind it moves, so the vegetable cart behind it moves, so I can finally find that elusive piece of land. When you eventually do, it's like finding an autorickshaw in Bangalore that agrees to charge you by meter only. Get the picture, don't ya?

That's not to say that the city has no positives. It offers luxuries like being able to walk on the road alone at 4 in the morning and hail a cab to wherever it is that you wish to go, it's got people from every place imaginable - a great way to know people (fine not that I know too many of them but it's a possibility). Places don't shut down at 12. So on and so forth, the regular stuff you hear from Mumbai loyals.

But find me a piece of land to walk on, then we'll talk about what a great city Bombay is.