a long, tiresome night........

Its 3 am in the morning and here i am, barely awake......trying to get past a ridiculous shift. Come to think of it, its not ridiculous at all....its actually a saviour.....i'm taking tomo (tomo being my next "working" day....i have lost track of current days, days yet to come and days gone by) off...that in return for the 15 hours that i put in today. A pretty fair deal, considering its that time of the year when i cannot afford to take a day off.

Anyway, i have always marvelled at how i get by with life everyday.........my work timings are bizzare and given that i'm NOT working for a BPO or the likes its rather tragic to try and explain what exactly i do. I am a journalist. People expect me to be "proud" of what i do.....not that i'm not...i wouldnt do it if i were not. But i'm not "proud" of it in the worldly sense of the word.
Not proud to assume the role of a saviour or a messiah of the needy, the "whistle-blower" or other stereotypes associated with the idea of journalism. That is not what i do. Conservative journalists would almost scorn at the kind of journalism i do. Each for his own, I guess.

Sometimes i wonder....what was it that drove me to choose this profession??? perhaps the same stereotypes that i now detest. That is something i have observed or rather noticed about myself.
it is somehow extremely hard to forgive someone with the same flaws as you. I find it almost impossible to see someone make the same mistakes that i made and fall prey to the same prejudices as i did. Guess somewhere it just reminds me of my mistakes and makes me realize that i've never forgiven myself, in the first place.

That apart (i have really got to stop digressing!), i started off writng something so i could stay awake....not a bad effort, i managed to be awake for about 45 minutes...which leaves me with a little over an hour to kill. That, i imagine i will be able to do......managed to gather up some food for thought.

more, when i have something inspiring to say...or so i hope.